Tuesday, April 26, 2022

Life's Age 47

 The state of Age 47

On medication continues. The doses of hypertension medication added. Cholesterol medication intact. No regular exercise as such. Activity intact. Standing hours decreased of the day. If long hours activities in a day initiates dullness in mind and induces sleep. After sleep freshers, activity continues. 
The body weight has increased to 95 kg. Walking hours decreased. Travel by car mostly. Regular eat out continues. Sound sleep intact. The state of mind normal. Motivation level on average. The fear of future decreased. Looking for a new beginning continues. The ability to hard work decreased. Financial freedom checked right. The ability to focus on reading and writing somewhat decreased. Reading and writing hours decreased significantly. Learning new primarily focus on finances and earnings. Ability to create words decreased - revision needed urgently. Ability to write with creation of words significantly decreased. That might reflect to speaking? The ability to speak creatively intact.

Thursday, October 17, 2019

Life has turned I suppose interesting or boring.

Life has turned I suppose interesting or boring. I don’t know –it’s kind of interesting in the sense, I am feeling energetic. This is the basic that I need to move on; I know some of you say “ One love”. It’s good for you. For me, I think, at this age – not that way. I have some vague purposes and I haven’t yet taken it seriously. When will you take it seriously? I would like to question myself at the early age of 40s. Still, life is going on as it is the way I want.

Seriously, I know what to do. I know the strategy to follow. I don’t know what I am waiting for. Maybe the right time to start? My procrastination still continues. I want to gather up strengths that don’t just befall all at the same time. Silly me? I think I have no utmost desire to do what I want.  If I do, what I want, this may hamper my family? Or I am fearful of a new situation in my life. Yes, Adventurous I should be by doing that. What is that thing that I want to do? Am I clear? Yep, Clarity is required.

Wondering Typhoon! That’s something required to do for what I want. In the long run, I am going to see and feel good for what I will have done. I am sure, that doesn’t stop there. I think it will stop there – The end. The two-minds just come up and duality begins, Ufff. Though this, I am enjoying myself. I like being like this. There is no surety of anything that exists except the sunrise in the east and set in the west. What a life!!

You need a break. Go for a break. Treat yourself but I do this always. What else I need again? The beginning doesn’t begin there and it is a never-ending loop of thoughts! Alas! Procrastinations – how can I win? How can I continue to exist? Frankly, I haven’t yet thought about the future self of being myself that how will be my life at the age of 60 or 70s. Come on that’s tooo far, how about 55?

Wednesday, May 22, 2019

Tug of war within me and my outside territory with surroundings.

Alas~ what a life so far. Struggling inside and with the outside forces - push and pull. Yeah, I am alive!

I see the tug of war between Rich vs Poor. I can't define this in that way because In what ways we can say he is rich or he is poor? Solely on economic terms? Yuck! what an attitude! That's an ugly way to interpret if he has a car in the family - then he is rich! What a ridiculous statement is this.

I define prosperity in the following ways.

If you have access to the resources, then you are rich.
If you are happy today, then you are rich.
If you have enough foods to eat and enough water to drink then you are rich.
If you have clean, safe clothes to wear, then you are rich.
If you don't have to live in dirty places, then you are rich.
If you are capable to change your situation, then you are rich.
If you are self-reliant and independent then you are rich.
If you can do what you want, then you are rich.
If you are free to do in your life whatever you desire, then you are rich enough to live.

So, the question is nowadays of equality. The gap between rich vs poor. Can you imagine those living in a lofty and beautiful house, are they have all those mentioned above? I think, 50% could be still under poverty.

There are extreme outside for those who even struggle for a roti a day. Are those exist today in Kathmandu Valley? They need to be addressed. Especially girls who have their own struggling as they grow up into adolescence. But let's not ignore boys in this case as well.

Personally, I feel struggling with the people for those in the name of the minority, they want to use the whole piece of cake. I felt second class in front of them. There are men who can't speak up for their rights because the image of women empowerment and image are largely in the screen of society.
We the men support women, and vice versa. Equality begins this way. No, any other ways.

Monday, September 17, 2018

The Current state of my life at Forties

The current state of my life:

A bit tired, a bit accepting the way the life befalls, a bit worried sometimes, a bit rage, a bit struggling to beloved, a bit ire with competitors, a bit hope and a bit dream with some actions – my life continues at 43 years of age.

Most difficult times I have had, was with my wife which most of the time damages me and my dream. I think that is the first ever thought I have thought after quarreling every time with her because it loses my self-esteem and mind basically. Sometimes the rage came out destroys me and my life. I don’t feel hopeless still about quarrel thinking that she will understand later in her life why I am the way I am.

The quarreling makes my image down with the surroundings - Piercing my heart and self-image.
I question myself what would I have done if I don’t have money in this situation. 

There are repeated moments of verbal quarreling leading to get me out of the room to sleep on the sofa nearby due to her dissatisfaction over her sexual desires at nights. I didn’t feel like it but need mental peace most of the time after dinner at bed during the night.

 A quest is always there for the next morning to carry out planning in facebook and opportunities app which she doesn’t even realize how I am carrying out day to day activities during the day - My quest for networking, attending and learning by events and workshops, meeting with different interests of people who are potentially the future growth of my career and work advancement in my life of the forties. Identity goes the way I present to the outside world nationally and internationally. Youths need to participate and engage in the activities so as to bring economic and social cohesion in the family and society.

In this life of forties, I am an independent thinker and always trying to carry out plans independently. As I need to bring families into my planning, still the engagements are few towards it.  Thus, teamwork needs to be carried out to bring concrete changes in my life at this age. So, leadership is the key I think. The question is what kind of leadership? and accepting of me as a leader?

I am just thinking I missed the leadership training by Mukesh sir but had a good talk on the telephone about it with one of the friend of mine in the same training.