Monday, September 17, 2018

The Current state of my life at Forties

The current state of my life:

A bit tired, a bit accepting the way the life befalls, a bit worried sometimes, a bit rage, a bit struggling to beloved, a bit ire with competitors, a bit hope and a bit dream with some actions – my life continues at 43 years of age.

Most difficult times I have had, was with my wife which most of the time damages me and my dream. I think that is the first ever thought I have thought after quarreling every time with her because it loses my self-esteem and mind basically. Sometimes the rage came out destroys me and my life. I don’t feel hopeless still about quarrel thinking that she will understand later in her life why I am the way I am.

The quarreling makes my image down with the surroundings - Piercing my heart and self-image.
I question myself what would I have done if I don’t have money in this situation. 

There are repeated moments of verbal quarreling leading to get me out of the room to sleep on the sofa nearby due to her dissatisfaction over her sexual desires at nights. I didn’t feel like it but need mental peace most of the time after dinner at bed during the night.

 A quest is always there for the next morning to carry out planning in facebook and opportunities app which she doesn’t even realize how I am carrying out day to day activities during the day - My quest for networking, attending and learning by events and workshops, meeting with different interests of people who are potentially the future growth of my career and work advancement in my life of the forties. Identity goes the way I present to the outside world nationally and internationally. Youths need to participate and engage in the activities so as to bring economic and social cohesion in the family and society.

In this life of forties, I am an independent thinker and always trying to carry out plans independently. As I need to bring families into my planning, still the engagements are few towards it.  Thus, teamwork needs to be carried out to bring concrete changes in my life at this age. So, leadership is the key I think. The question is what kind of leadership? and accepting of me as a leader?

I am just thinking I missed the leadership training by Mukesh sir but had a good talk on the telephone about it with one of the friend of mine in the same training.

Saturday, January 27, 2018

Flashback of my time at MICD


MICD has been one of my great platform to grow. To be honest, grow in the  sense of expressing myself what I think of reality as such. Many would have disagreed to me or laughed at me by making a joke which normally I have been getting feedback at home and work place. But, everything has changed. My home has changed in many ways. Though still some of their believe which I hear are as it is taking them as a "Hawa Guff." But, the time has been proving myself in many ways. Though still, I am struggling to make a choice in asking a question that makes me feel asking. Only after a great struggle in my mind, I ask a question that goes outside to the environment from my mind.

One thing is sure if I am feeling sleepy, to make out of this state, then I ask questions. So, it has been a great struggle between the state of what my body wants and what my mind wants or the time wants. In this duality, a question arises and I speak of my mind. I am sure, I may not be asking question in relevant to others' reality which actually makes them to think or to go their mind into deja vu. And by listening to their answer I know where they are in congruence with my thought. Sometimes I get beyond my experiences so far and I admit this to be true.

Why I'm into asking questions, to define this further which I had already written in one of my another blog as http://writercrafts.com/tag/life-a-soul/ with a title " Life questions to be asked." in which I enjoyed much expressing them my own belief which could be true to many I suppose.

To make me remind of what I ask, MICD tagged them as a Philosophical which I didn't realize as such earlier. So, categorization has been done which has enlightened me where I am and what I am actually doing so far. Even, I did get feedback not to go much of the spiritual side of where my questions might have based. I totally respect those views which are coming from down to earth modalities based on some ground works. Alas~ I'm free, I know.

To be continued......










Thursday, December 15, 2016

MY SPECIAL PERSON AND SOME INCIDENTS IN MY LIFE SO FAR.

MY SPECIAL PERSON IN MY LIFE:

If I have to remember someone in my life who is special and will be forever alive in my memory, then there are few persons I have to name them. I am going to unfold this truth of mine to myself because I don't know if someone there on the other side of the world are listening or seeing this. I and my life in this four decades, few people have imprinted me on my mind and heart.

CHILDHOOD MEMORIES:

In my childhood, watching movies at Makhan Tole and Bhedasing; at the Cinema halls- Kumari and Vishojyoti with a third class tickets. The most influential actor which made me feel wow and pretty emotional was none other than Amitab Bacchan. His style, the way he talks,his character in the film and the role he played truly moved me a lot. I didn't analysed this way at first during childhood. I was just moved by his act. 

Every new film of Amitab Bacchan was enthralling to see and never missed if the telecast was being repeated on the television again. I could lose anything just to see his movie completely. It was then before my school leaving days during 80s'. It was the time when a person move with his energy wherever it swung. 

ONE OF THE INCIDENT I REMEMBERED DURING SCHOOLDAYS.

That was the time, a boy might get infatuation!! Yes, same as this. I loved one of the class girl in my school. It wouldn't be such a remembrance as I still today because something had happened which made this emotion deep inside imprinted like never will be erasing again. Just carved in my heart. Because to that girl I loved which I hadn't expressed to her, one of my close friend proposed her with a letter. Such a cross to my heart. I cried after returning home in the evening. That was my first crush ever with a girl!

This heart breaking incident made me refrained from girls. One day after SLC exam and during holidays, someone had called in my home land line number and one of the family member received and gave it to me telling me someone asking me. I was quite surprised and that was one of the girl from the school. She was reciting poems on the phone and played guitar for me omg! I was quite awkward in front of other family members. But, she knew what she was doing. I didn't recognized even though she said her name. I had to hang up the phone abruptly but that name was in my mouth and inquiring about her to one of my friend who studied in her class section as she mentioned me on the phone. The search didn't end until I found her during my classes of Bachelor at KU. I came to know she had flew to India for her 10+2 after SLC and returned to Nepal for her Bachelor. Now, she is happily married with children living in USA.

My special moments with my father:

One time early 20s' I was at recovery phase taking medication daily. Doctor told my nervous system was taking baby steps again. I  used to wake up early morning and go to the morning walk every day with my father. We used to play badminton, football until tired, up at the airport area which wasn't restricted much like these days. Every day walking and to buy vegetables seemed to be a daily routine. Visited the doctor with father made me feel always new and interesting because we had to go to near Swaymbhu Nath temple from home. I loved to visit doctor's place. Along the way to visit and morning walks, we used to have talks sometime.

There are few occasions I had chance to travel with him. I felt really relaxed and visiting Nepalese cities and valley. We had a journey by air, bus, van and jeep. But never got chance to visit by horse hummmm. But he had been to Dipayel and some riding horse journey on his offical visit.





Tuesday, May 24, 2016

MY View on Astrology which I am fond of now!

Astrology and my thoughts :

Basically, Astrology is a science - an ancient methodology of predicting something about your life and incidents. It tells about each individual who are born on this earth, their character, personality, their past life, present life and future. This gives you Different Dasha in Vedic astrology at times when you are born and what will follow in the years to come of the whole life. Dashas are important which are actually in alternative up and down series of years; First more years and then less years similarily continue with positive and negativity in sequences.

In the Birth chart you see in Astrology. There are Lagna chart, Navamsa, and Moon Rashi chart that you see. Besides these, there are also all Divisional charts in which Navamsa being the whole internal cut through of 9 th house. There are all together 12 houses in which 12 Rashis are arranged and the 9 planets such as Sun, Mercury, Moon,Venus, Jupiter, Mars, Saturn, Rahu, Ketu.are placed.There are others planets in this modern version of astrology such as Neptune, Uranus and Pluto which are the higher version of Venus, Mars and Saturn.

The planetary arrangement in houses forms many different Yogas. According to Strength of the planets how they are placed, the effects on our life occur accordingly. The Basic understanding of its effect can be understood from the effects of moon during Full moon and Amawasya in which there will be no moon in the sky. The high tides during the Full moon on the ocean of earth reveals the influence on earth. Earth's 70 percent is made up of water and remaining is earth, Similarily, our body is made up of fluids and masses in similar proportion. As the moon effects on earth with high tides and low tides, it naturally effects on the human body as well.

In many of the Charts, there is also a Asthavakra chart in which there are Points given for each houses with the arrangements of planets of your birthchart by which you can predict how will be your health, wealth, instincts, education, diseases, marriage, death, luck, work, benefits and expenses accordingly from 1st house to 12 houses.

Navamsa is the chart which is your chart after your marriage. Basically marriages are seen through this. If the planets in the Lagna badly placed or good placed, though in Navamsa it is opposite then this consider bad for good and good for bad. From Navamsa, you can see Nadi Astrology, by which you can predict the person's event after 28 years for the Aries. and accordingly to Meena rashi being 39 years.

From Moon chart ( Chandra Rashi chart ), you can see how the person is internally built, There are always duality in everybody and so does the rashis. Gemini person being the even more prominently built up with duality.

Rahu and Ketu, these are two opposite nodal planets. Ketu takes and Rahu gives. Ketu absorbs all and doesn't allow you to express and Rahu will boost whatever you have. Ketu related to spirituality, isolation, Moksha as well while Rahu even can make a Sun in shadow and gives its influence in the house, So, Rahu takes over the House in which it is placed and Ketu makes ineffective. The 3rd house, 6th house, 8th house, and 11th house if these are placed in nodes, they have good effects.

There are also differnt Nakhchatras ( constellations ) in which you are born. This gives you actually where you are coming from.

Learning Astrology and how I feel.

Learning Astrology I feel you can see your actual purpose of your life. The Elements like Fire, Earth, Air and Water representing Spirituality and Religion, Wealth, Desire, and Moksha. These Five basic elements of life and Purposes behind your life can be known from your Kundali. ( in Navamsa ).

I feel being nurtured to my knowledge of understanding nature and life by digging down the Astrological charts. It helps me to understand people around me.

I understand why Muharatas are very essential and important in any special occasion you do. It will give you 100 percent effects of whatever you do. Instead if you do in any other moments, you will accomplish the task but may be 50 percent, 25 percent etc.

So, there are Auspicious moments, and InAuspicious moments. After taking birth on earth, the value of time and space is very relative and important which was even been explained by great scientists like Albert Einstein and others.

By learning Astrology, even you can see relationship issues and how you can make better. Not only your present relationship with you someone, but of as well future relationship prediction can be possible. Basically all the secrets behind human life includes in the Astrology. Everyone should learn it and make it handy.

Why do you think?

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Life goes on and on - A Direction FOLLOWED!


Life goes on with a direction:

A direction taken and followed - This is what I belief now. I think, this direction is of self respect, our self esteem, a stand you can say. Due to a direction taken, this may feel uneasy to someone. It has to churn all this inside out and has to come out with a huge applause.

We may feel a little turmoil at first. In the beginning, the heat that it creates, has to be observed somehow to continue to fuel the direction we have taken. What we need is support and understanding by family members; brothers, father and mother. 

We don't want to be a burden for anyone else. This is our self esteem and bonding to develop within the family. It's not late - I'm very sure. I don't know so perfectly about future though I'm learning Astrology. Basically, we will end up somewhere which will be a stand for my wife and son.

Brothers basically don't go along with me easily. Burden to the father is actually being shared with misbehaving verbally with my son and wife. Why brothers are like these - I tried to open up the secret of my kundali - birthchart. It has said very well defined in the beginning of my birth. Why my uncles are as they are? Kundali says this all very well.  Why my father is how he is. Kundali says this all. I think, I am believing Astrology very well. It gives me the solution which I don't know about my life and why life my as this is earlier.
It has told what I have been experiencing for decades I spent. It has given a sense of future self which is yet to be verified.  But, the life goes on with a direction.




Thursday, March 10, 2016

Moving into a new direction which I think of possibility someday!!!

'We move to a new direction'

Even though we are in the home which we have been living for ages, now once again we are moving to a new direction of hope and clear goals. I might have thought it in my dream once upon a time. This actually has turned in a U- direction once we realized it to be one day anyhow. Time has a sense of design to be happen one day. Again, I ask myself, "Why One day?"

After all, we set the time in a clock to be ring just after it will be accomplished. Not exactly the CLOCK!! But, this analogy seems fit to this.

Cuts and turns of plans and actions. They are of conscious strategies though happened itself involuntarily. "Involuntarily" Because previously all actions are of free will without a direction; "grabbing all what lies on the streets." Trying everything until to reach the end. Clock's ticking~~~!!

I am thinking of the time back, how did I reach here? I believe it is just the moment when I had an intention and discussed about with my wife. This is as simple as that. Again, I ask myself. "Why One day, It's not ending now?" Because I think we are in a momentum and we do have a sense of direction which is of course has taken a course in a direction where the time has set.


What's the plan?

Why don't I tell what's the plan straightforwardly ? It's already there in some dimension of parallel world. I just put that into a perspective, so never mind!

I have been there many times into a situation like this where I had to expose my plan. I went around talking to everyone my plans and this and that. Finally at the end, it never happened. I ask myself, "Why one day to be discussed?" IF it has to be one day, never tell anybody until it happens that day.

I have just told all of ourselves being in a new direction. Learning again, I should say!! This has been after a long duration of my time of living four decades or so on this planet. Am I an extraterrestrial being? Oops!! Tongue slipped again!!

A new confidence of realization, as it happens. 

You can get whatever you want. And, it is possible!  Before making it happen, just think of the consequences. Can YOU HANDLE THE HEAT??? So, Be wise before making it happen. Think of this, Do you really want this happen?

Desires in a Human are enormous. Choose one to manifest and then next, a next again and so on. We are in a loop to be on earth born again on here though different scenario and circumstances. So, Many great Mahatmas told not to be in a loop of desires entangled for to be born again on earth to sail through the winds of sufferings and pains.

SO, NEVER EVER HAD A DESIRE OR SO BEFORE IN MY LIFE.... SAILING WHERE THE WIND WILL TAKE.

LEARNING AGAIN, COME ON!!!!!


Thursday, October 15, 2015

Festival at the corner but....................

Dashain festival at the corner but the city is still suffering from blockades, scarcity, price hikes, no gasoline and no adequate buses, tempos, and taxis on the street.

New government is forming as a consequence of new constitution in Nepal. Whether India, the neighbour country wants or supports what is happening inside Nepal,  this is the way we do, the new government is telling to the people and the world. Talks are still going on and soon from the nepalese government, a Ministerial visit to India is going to be held.


India wants certain things to be included in our constitution. Staying in the cocoon of the city and home, whether those demands of the neighbor are appropriate or inappropriate, we can't tell by  looking just staying in the city. It won't be fair enough to judge that way.

China on the other hand ready to help. Even though, due to its cultural barrier, language barrier which are more smooth towards India, Nepal whole heartedly not able to pass the decision to access fuels and other things from China. And also, due to recent earthquakes, the roads are being damaged or need to clean it up the debris from landslides that went further to worsen the situation. More over, to the nepalese government, the transaction from china is a bit expensive than it is from India.


Nevertheless of all, festival season started already in Nepal. With no carbon fuel and cooking gas, cooking in the kitchen is difficult but thank god, electricity is on. A multi purpose Rice cooker is getting very helpful in this worse situation. These Rice cooker are generally chinese or indian as well.


A queue in the petrol station is long. Although they queued, some gets and the others don't. Fuels are not enough for the whole. Even, due to high demand of gasoline, black marketing of it sold in  high prices. Similarly, there is a price hike in vegetables, fruits, cereals, and salt.

Lets hope the situation will be settled soon and we will be back to normal again. We do not even have risen up enough from the trauma of huge devastating earthquakes here in Nepal, This blockade from the indian border worsen the situation further. Anti indian spirits have risen up in us the nepalese, but this won't do good enough until we rely on ourselves in everything what we need.